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Even when I was 3,000 miles away from her, all I could think about was Kana. I was cybering with her at all hours of the night and madly beating off and dreaming of the next time I would see her again. She was undoubtedly my chronic obsession. For the first three or four days that I was out of town we were in almost constant contact and I got no break from my fixation on her. Finally I suggested that Kana should invite her cousin over to stay with her. This made sense. Kana was afraid to stay by herself in our house. I knew she had explored her sexuality with her cousin in the past, and he was a good deal younger than I was and I figured maybe he could fill in for me and maybe quench whatever fire burned in her, or at the very least give me a break. Was I jealous? Not really. I was in Kana’s orbit and m y only fear was ever having to leave it. I knew others would have to be in her orbit and if I played it well I could stay in her world for longer. Her cousin was a sensible, reliable. Lily looked at Ben with tears in her eyes. Ben I loved you. We were perfect for each other and you made my life whole. When you left me I was heartbroken and I thought I would never heal and I never fully have. All this time I never even tried to get a boyfriend because my heart belonged to you and it always will. Even though you betrayed me I still love you and would do anything for you. Lily finished her statement and looked down, she could not bare to look him in the eye. Suddenly she felt Bens strong hands on her shoulders. She looked up and Ben had tears in his eyes. I am so sorry for what I did to you and I have never forgiven myself for it. I love you too and I could never turn my back on you. The two stared into each others eyes, smiles spreading across their face. Slowly closing their eyes they leaned into each other and slowly kissed each other. The two embraced each other holding each other close their toungs flapping in each others mouths. Lily felt like she was 12 years.
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